


Mute Button, Please.

by Dayzaya



Series: Orihara family values [1]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Crack, M/M, sibling crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 11:38:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6050199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dayzaya/pseuds/Dayzaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[AU]<br/>Izaya isn't too fond of hearing his twin and enemy getting freaky...at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mute Button, Please.

**Author's Note:**

> Crack. Just crack. Because I'm trying to update fics and STRUGGLING.

Izaya cringes. 

Hard. Shudders, and grabs at his pillow to cover his ears and hiss because  _he cannot stand it_. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wonders if his parents are dense of if they are simply ignoring the pounding of bed against wall because  _Shizuo Heiwajima was a beast_ and could easily snap their backs in half if he wanted too. Well, if Roppi was able to convince the brute too, that is. Tugging the covers over his head, the pillow shoved to the side as he reaches blindly for a phone and some  _headphones dear god he needs headphones_.

    Izaya also wonders, how the hell his twin, Hachimenroppi, managed to convince Shizuo to  _have fucking sex_ at this time of night. He peeks out from his covers, winces and gags because he doesn't want to the sounds of  _sh-shizuo!_ to be permanently embedded in his mind, soul and memories for all eternity. He rolled over, belly pressed against the sheets as he reaches for his phone. Winces at bright light and uses the shitty light to look for his damned headphones. Swallows and mouths _thank the gods_ when he finds the pair. Shoves them in, and hurriedly tries to start a song because he doesn't like--  _loathes_ \-- hearing Shizuo makes those beast like sounds and that  _ **fucking bed had to be broken**_. He doesn't even know how the  _wall_ wasn't cracked or worse- even with the headphones on, music blaring, he could still  _feel_ the vibrations.

 

 _It's only two in the morning_.

* * *

  When he wakes up, half deprived from sleep and angrily rolled out of bed. Izaya's descent to the kitchen is stopped when he watches a  _fully awake fully refreshed_ Shizuo coming from the bathroom. There's a moment where they both simply  **stare** , Shizuo a bit startled. As if he forgotten that Izaya Orihara still resided within the household. 

          "....so..." Izaya begins, cocking up a brow as he crosses  his arms. Licks his dry lip,  _leers_ at Shizuo as he continues to speak, "do you mind  **not** fucking my brother the next time you come over?" Shizuo flushes. It woud've been amusing, really. But Izaya's irritated, cranky and wants more sleep--  _can't_ because he's a light sleeper, and if it's daylight,  _parents_ gone. he knows what Roppi's going to want from his boyfriend. Shizuo scratches the back of his head and  _ **glares right back**_.. 

   "Tsk, you're a pervert for listening.." Shizuo moves on past and Izaya reaches out with his foot to trip him--  _Shizuo stumbles_ _\--_

* * *

* * *

 

   "Why did you have to fight..." Roppi's bitter, half awake as Izaya was before adrenaline pulsed throughout his form when Shizuo had darted after him. The raven is slumped against the couch, eyes barely able to keep themselves up. Izaya opens his mouth, closes it before he grins and utters;

                          "Hachin, maybe you should go over to  _his_ house for a lay, ne? I need my beauty sleep."

"The fuck-? No-!" Shizuo's starting before Roppi groans loudly.  _Fed up with the aruging_.

           "I'll fuck wherever I wanna fuck.. Maybe  _you_ need to get off. Shizuo, pretend Izaya is me--"

 

" _ **NO**_!" Comes the sharp response from two,  _very_ _disgusted_ enemies.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Foul Play](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6203299) by [lunambulism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunambulism/pseuds/lunambulism)




End file.
